The 25 COPING SKILLS Everyone MUST HAVE!
How to Develop Positive Coping Skills If You Are an Abuse Survivor
Give up blame.Understand that it's not your fault that you're unhappy if you were abused. You just weren't taught the coping skills that will help you navigate through life successfully.
Accept Responsibility.Even though it's not your fault, it is your responsibility to begin to develop the healthy coping skills that will help you be happier. Nobody else will do it for you.
Don't believe anything the abuser told you about yourself.Start from that as a baseline. Remember that everything the abuser said had the agenda of making you feel helpless and belittled, even if it is true it may not be a bad thing. If both the people who like you as you are and the people who don't like you say the same things about you, it's probably true but not always a bad thing in context.
- Make friends with people who don't come from an abused background. Ask those friends about the things you believe about yourself, get an outside opinion. Preferably one that's got a healthy way of life.
- Very often your virtues have been presented to you as faults.
- Make a list of the things you like about yourself, it's always longer than you think it is. Start with anything at all, your favorite color or the way you make toast or what hobby or game you're good at. This is more important than looking at your faults, you've been looking at nothing else since the abuse began.
- Examine the abuser's ideas about life critically. Was the abuser consistent in judging people or hypocritical? Did the abuser accuse you of all sorts of things the abuser does routinely that are only faults if you do them? Were you expected to do impossible things, or two mutually exclusive things? Sort out all the contradictions and hypocrisies of the abuse in your journal. This may take a lot of time but it's necessary to begin looking at life the way it really is instead of through the distorted filter of abuse.
Get a cognitive-behavioral therapist.A cognitive-behavioral therapist will help you implement new ways of thinking and behaving that will help you become far more effective at dealing with the day-to-day challenges and situations that crop up in life. Plus, they will help you work through any unresolved emotional trauma, which is critical if you're an abuse survivor.
Do something you've never done to learn new skills.Take up a new hobby or join a club activity. Do something you enjoy. You'll learn new skills and that's the key to growth and developing new positive coping skills.
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Date: 16.12.2018, 01:52 / Views: 52131